Journey with Health (not a journey TO health)

 I lost 6 pounds in the month of January.  I could have tried harder, but at the end of the month, I was lighter.  Two weeks later.....I've gained all but 1 of those pounds back.

Part of me wants to shake my fists in the air and say, "Whyyyyyy?  Give me a break!!!" But, doing so would be ignoring the fact that this didn't just happen to me.  I wasn't sitting on my couch and out of nowhere 5 pounds bombarded my body against my will.  I did it to myself.  

And I keep saying, I've got to figure this out, I've got to figure this out.  But then I roll my eyes.  At myself.  (Yes, I'm perfectly capable of having frustrating conversations with  myself, which includes dramatic and frustrated body language.)  I roll my eyes because it's really not a secret.  Eat less.  Exercise more.  Take in less calories than you consume and you will have a deficit that creates weight loss.  

So, what in the world is the hang up?  I'm sure it's not as easy as I tell myself it should be.  According to one probably unreliable internet source, the diet industry makes 40 billion dollars a year.  This makes me think that I'm not the only one who struggles with this "hang up".  

I read a quote today, that I think can help me:  "You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be."  (David Viscott)

I really think that might be it!  For so long I've been telling myself that I won't be "thin", "healthy", "athletic", even, "pretty" or "beautiful" until I've reached my goal weight.  I felt I couldn't identify with any of those descriptions until I was wearing a jeans size I thought was acceptable.    Even at my most healthy weight I had felt like I was just a fat person deceiving everyone into thinking I was thinner.  It's terrible to live in that place in my head.    Last summer I did a 5K and really, really enjoyed it.  Shortly thereafter I ruptured a disc in my back.  I felt like I was proving to myself that I wasn't the athlete that I was trying so hard to become.

So, I need to stop that.  I need to think of myself as being the person that I want to be...because, after all, I am that person.  I enjoy exercising, sweating, and feeling strong.  I enjoy making healthy choices, and feeling good about myself.    I am going to be the person I want to be.  I'm not going to wait any longer.  I am Healthy.  Fit.  Happy.

I hope to post every once in awhile about how this journey is going.  Feel free to let me know your own thoughts and victories.  Also, if any of you do My Fitness Pal, feel free to friend me, my username is WifeyDeMichael.

Signing off for now....

New Beginnings

So far 2012 has been marked with big changes on the horizon for the Kruse family.  And it's only February.  But the changes are exciting and full of new beginnings, but unfortunately some "catch ya later"s as well.

Today I received a contract to teach next Fall in the Education Division at Loras College in Dubuque. When August 20th comes I should be Assistant Professor of Education.  :-)  

This move for our family will obviously be marked with big changes for our family.  New town.  New church. New schools. New faces. Not to mention being in the depths of  Hawkeye country.   And though I thrive on change, I'd be hard pressed to say that I'm not also feeling some anxiety for all that needs to come together (Michael needs a job!) and sadness in leaving the town I've come to love these past 15 years (Ames), and the convenience of having some of my closest friends and family near me that I'm sure I've taken for granted.  

I think I'm most sad about Michael leaving his job.  He's come to really respect, appreciate, and I hate to say it out loud for fear of talks of "Bro-mance", but love his coworkers.  He really does work with some really friendly and supportive people.  

I will also miss my coworkers.  I've been impressed with some of the people I work closest with at the Dept. of Ed and our partnering agencies.  Being in an environment that even if you do not see eye to eye on every little matter or issue, but knowing that everyone around you has a deeply rooted passion for Early Childhood Education and Early Intervention has been rewarding.  

Though deep reflection of our changes causes a bit of anxiety, sprinkled with sadness, we are truly excited for our next adventure.  I'm looking forward to curving my career in the direction I've been working forward to these past few years while completing my doctoral program.  I'm looking forward to creating neat relationships and getting to know my future students.  I'm looking forward to discovering Dubuque and Eastern Iowa.

The kids don't quite understand it all, but Sam is excited to be moving to the Mississippi River and very excited to see the Duhawks play (The Duhawk is the Loras mascot).  

My last day at my job will be May 11th, our lease in Ames is up June 23.....so, sometime in the early summer we're going to be moving (though Michael and I may have to live apart for a couple of months).  Otherwise we'll live in Chris and Di Sheldon's basement ;-)