Journey with Health (not a journey TO health)

 I lost 6 pounds in the month of January.  I could have tried harder, but at the end of the month, I was lighter.  Two weeks later.....I've gained all but 1 of those pounds back.

Part of me wants to shake my fists in the air and say, "Whyyyyyy?  Give me a break!!!" But, doing so would be ignoring the fact that this didn't just happen to me.  I wasn't sitting on my couch and out of nowhere 5 pounds bombarded my body against my will.  I did it to myself.  

And I keep saying, I've got to figure this out, I've got to figure this out.  But then I roll my eyes.  At myself.  (Yes, I'm perfectly capable of having frustrating conversations with  myself, which includes dramatic and frustrated body language.)  I roll my eyes because it's really not a secret.  Eat less.  Exercise more.  Take in less calories than you consume and you will have a deficit that creates weight loss.  

So, what in the world is the hang up?  I'm sure it's not as easy as I tell myself it should be.  According to one probably unreliable internet source, the diet industry makes 40 billion dollars a year.  This makes me think that I'm not the only one who struggles with this "hang up".  

I read a quote today, that I think can help me:  "You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be."  (David Viscott)

I really think that might be it!  For so long I've been telling myself that I won't be "thin", "healthy", "athletic", even, "pretty" or "beautiful" until I've reached my goal weight.  I felt I couldn't identify with any of those descriptions until I was wearing a jeans size I thought was acceptable.    Even at my most healthy weight I had felt like I was just a fat person deceiving everyone into thinking I was thinner.  It's terrible to live in that place in my head.    Last summer I did a 5K and really, really enjoyed it.  Shortly thereafter I ruptured a disc in my back.  I felt like I was proving to myself that I wasn't the athlete that I was trying so hard to become.

So, I need to stop that.  I need to think of myself as being the person that I want to be...because, after all, I am that person.  I enjoy exercising, sweating, and feeling strong.  I enjoy making healthy choices, and feeling good about myself.    I am going to be the person I want to be.  I'm not going to wait any longer.  I am Healthy.  Fit.  Happy.

I hope to post every once in awhile about how this journey is going.  Feel free to let me know your own thoughts and victories.  Also, if any of you do My Fitness Pal, feel free to friend me, my username is WifeyDeMichael.

Signing off for now....